Here's to being young
by lilyhartsjames
Summary: Potter is a self involved prat. Evans is a nonconformist nutter. How will these two crazy kids shack up and eventually make baby scarhead Harry? In the most pratty, nutty way possible, of course. Starts end of year 6.
1. This is NOT Happening!

**A fluffy somewhat random L/J romance. I'm happy to say I've actually written a lot of chapters first, and so I am very ahead. I think it's a sign of growing responsibility. :D**

**Please read and then please feel obligated to review, and then go ahead and do so, yes? EH, EH?**

**1, This is NOT Happening**

"Get out, get out, GET OUT!"

"But-But-But—"

"—_GET_ OUT!"

With a resounding slam of the door strong enough to shake the walls, Lily A. Evans was left staring at the smooth surface of her dormitory door. She blinked and stared, afterwards blinking some more and then doing a bit more staring. From out there on the landing, she could hear Beth Brown crying hysterically as the other three attempted to calm her down.

Lily slowly turned away from the door and to the balcony of the landing, and with eyes as wide as coins, Lily yelped in disbelief, "This is NOT Happening! It … it can't be happening. Where will I sleep?"

She glanced over her shoulder at the door one last time before taking her trunk and small possessions in her arm with her, crossing the small walkway to the fifth year girl's dormitory. She knocked softly, praying Taryn Quinberhodge, a close friend of hers, would let her sleep there. The door opened a bit and Taryn peeked out at Lily through the small crack.

"Taryn," Lily said, scratching her back, blushing, "I, err, I sort of … well, I don't exactly have a bed right now."

"You don't have a bed you say," Taryn repeated loudly. "Well, that's insane! I didn't know! Wow, that's … not good."

"Yeah. Erm, so can I, you know," Lily said.

"Know what? You'll have to be a bit more specific, Lily," Taryn said, still loudly. There was a murmur from someone out of sight in the dormitory, and Taryn looked over her shoulder. "What's that you say, Vivian? I'm letting the heat out! Don't want the _cold_ to get in---whoops!"

"Taryn!" Lily pleaded, taking a step closer.

"Sorry, Lily, but it's getting a bit cold in here," Taryn said quickly. "Shutting-the-door-step-back-or-your-nose-will-be-sorry-in-the-morning-bye!"

And with that Lily was left narrowly escaping a very serious nose injury. She jumped back as the door closed in her face, and sighed. She wasn't welcomed in the fifth year girl's dormitory either. Next, she tried the fourth and third, to no avail. From there, she basically gave up.

She didn't feel like invading the space of little second and first years, nor did she think they'd let her in anyway, out of fear and intimidation of the older girls who hated Lily's guts at the moment. And, she didn't dare go to the seventh year girl's dormitory. They'd probably laugh right in her face.

Lily ended up collapsing down on the sofa of the common room, pouting. Her most prized possession, a gray teddy bear she'd had since she was two years old, was in her arms, and she hugged Mr. Hugglesworth tightly and with emotion.

There wasn't a soul in the common room except for her. It was midnight and it looked as if she'd … have to sleep there on the sofa for the night, and Merlin knew how long after that.

Lily's eyebrows pushed together in bitterness and tenacity, as she threw a glare over her shoulder at the sixth year girl's dormitory door; it was barely visible from there on the couch.

"Stupid Beth Brown," Lily muttered angrily to herself, over the crackling flames. "I can't believe she's turned them all against me---like some sort of silly little alliance! What are they, the Anti-Lily Coalition?"

_That was a good one, Lily, very clever. Good job._

_Thank you, I know! I'm so bloody creative and none of those hag-faced witch monsters appreciate that._

_Yes, exactly. To hell with those hag-faced witch monsters! _You're_ Lily Evans._

_Hey, you're right. I am. I'm Lily A. Evans, and Panme Patil has a wart on her chin! It's a wart, not a beauty mark, for Merlin's sake, you delusional foot fungus victim idiot!_

"Right on!" Lily exclaimed happily, jumping to her feet and throwing a triumphant fist in the air, her bear in her other arm.

What she didn't realize was that the Portrait Hole opened three seconds before and in came James Potter crawling through. He laughed loudly at her shouting 'right on' to herself, teddy bear under one arm, other arm in the air, hand curled in a fist. Her face looked self-righteous, and that made him laugh even more.

Lily's cheeks and forehead flashed red and she hid Mr. Hugglesworth behind her back. It was better for the both of them if he were kept a secret.

"Potter," she said firmly, "what are you doing just coming in? It's past curfew!"

"Yeah, I've passed curfew and you've flown over the cuckoo's nest," James retorted, holding his stomach in laughter.

Lily's eyes narrowed. "I'm not crazy; I was speaking to someone in the fireplace."

"Yeah, right, and I was out past curfew for _academic _reasons," James said, walking toward the boy's staircase.

"The difference between you and I is that I am a good person with a good head on my shoulders, while you, you're … the devil's apprentice."

"It's pretty fun too," James remarked, laughing. "I get 40 percent off summer wear. Pretty groovy, eh?"

"Potter, shut up! Shut up and-and leave me alone!" Lily snapped, no longer amused.

She dropped back down onto the sofa, crossing her arms and pouting again. She didn't want to deal with Potter when she had just been ousted from her dormitory.

"What are you doing down here, Evans? Were you kicked out?" James asked as he took steps up the staircase. He grinned, though he could not see her face, only the back of her head from over the sofa. "This whole deal wouldn't have anything to do with, oh, I dunno, Aden Grey, by chance, hmm?"

"Potter!"

"There's my answer, thank you and goodnight," James said once he reached the door to his dormitory. "Evans, good luck with sleeping on the couch; you need it."

"Potter, if you don't leave me alone I'm going to murder you in your sleep!"

"That's the most beautiful, heartfelt thing you've ever said to me."

"Potter, do not test me---I'm a witch royally pissed off! I'm clever, I'll hide the body and it'll be like you went on vacation!"

James merely chuckled as he opened the door. He paused only to peek over his shoulder and say, cheekily, "cute bear, Evans. Very huggable."

With that the door closed and Lily was left alone once again in the common room.

She blushed as she picked up Mr. Hugglesworth and realized she really would be stuck out here for the night. Sighing deeply, she made herself comfortable, resting her head against the armrest of the sofa and holding Mr. Hugglesworth close to her chest.

It was going to be a long, long, _long_ night.

& & & & &

**Thank you for reading. Now review! Free internet high fives for whoever does. :)**


	2. Chin Out, Nose Up

**2, Chin Out, Nose Up**

_You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life._

_-Winston Churchill_

_**&&**_

"Well, if it isn't the birthday boy, Sirius Black!" Remus Lupin exclaimed merrily, applauding Sirius' reentrance from the bathroom to the dormitory.

Peter and Frank applauded him too.

Sirius bowed sophisticatedly with a sweeping movement of his arm, just like those fancy types. "Thank you, thank you."

"Happy birthday!" Peter squeaked brightly. He continued to clap.

"I think everyday should be a holiday in my honor, but hey, what do I know, right? I'm _just_ Sirius Black!" Sirius said, grinning.

"How very modest of you," Remus humored, chuckling.

"Moony, Sirius Black knows all. He knows when you are sleeping; he knows when you're awake. He knows when you're Jolly St. Nick. Trust me, Sirius Black once made Merlin cry," Sirius said proudly, talking as if this Sirius Black were a god.

"Padfoot, you made Merlin cry? But _why_?" Peter said, a look of stunned horror on his face.

Sirius, Remus and Frank shared a mutual laugh.

"It's a long story full of intrigue, dueling, cockroach clusters, and sex," Sirius replied mysteriously. He clapped his hands together, looking around the dormitory eagerly. "Now, where's my presents?"

"Me first!" Frank said, standing and handing over a wrapped box.

Sirius took the box into his hands and shook it near either side of his face, checking the sound the gift inside made. "Hmm," he said afterward, looking conflicted, "I'm not sure if it's Zonko's Deluxe Pratty Prankster Kit, or if it's possibly some tasty baked goods, prepared by none other than your mum. Let's find out."

He tore open the wrapped box and into his hands fell a tin can, which inside contained a batch of delicious home baked cookies. Sirius grinned as he looked at the tin can and then looked up at Frank.

"Mate, brilliant! You remembered how much I love to stuff my face---wicked!" Sirius said, giving Frank a hearty hug and thump on the back.

Frank nodded and said, "Yeah, my mum remembers how you almost ate us out of house and home that one summer afternoon you came to visit."

"That was the time I beat your great grandmother at a biscuit eating contest! That was a blast. She was a great opponent and she took her loss like a real champ."

Frank continued to nod as he apparently remembered all about that infamous summer afternoon and biscuit eating contest.

Sirius turned to Remus next and held out his arms. "What've you got for me, Moony Moon?"

"Well, I was going to buy you a good book," Remus began.

"Ugh!"

"Because, as you know, nothing is more meaningful and valuable as a good book," Remus went on.

"UGH!"

"…But I remembered it was you I was shopping for, and so I … got you this," Remus said, pulling something from behind his back and handing it over to Sirius.

Sirius took it into his hands and unwrapped the neat package impatiently. Into his hands fell that Zonko's Deluxe Pratty Prankster Kit he had been wanting for months. He looked like a small six-year-old child on Christmas, who had just opened their first little racing broom.

"Moony, I love you!" Sirius exclaimed joyously, hugging the kit and then hugging Remus enthusiastically. "I want to kiss you, but you're a bit hairy for my tastes! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Yes, you're welcome---you're welcome so long as you keep your lips off of me," Remus joked with a laugh.

Sirius spent a good moment hugging the Zonko's Deluxe Pratty Prankster Kit before setting it gently down onto his bed, and turning to Peter, holding out his hand expectantly.

"Pay up, Peter," he said.

Peter hurried over to his trunk, opened it and reached for a small box. He withdrew it and then rushed over to Sirius, handing over the box.

Sirius eyed it cautiously. "What is it? It's small and usually small stuff is cheap. There's a two Galleon minimum for all gifts bought for Sirius Black, Wormtail. It's not cheap is it?"

"No way!" Peter said, outraged.

"All right, it better not be or it's out the window; hopefully it'll at least be of use then and hit someone on its way down," Sirius said, winking. He slid off the lid of the box and then peeked inside. His expression was priceless. It was a mixture of surprise, confusion, and horror. He held up what was inside between his fingers, for everyone to see.

It was a necklace. It was a thick, long black strand and from its end hung a sharp, jagged tooth. Sirius stared at it with his mouth open, and Remus and Frank could not help themselves from a good laugh.

"Do you like it?" Peter asked.

"It's … a fucking string and tooth," Sirius said slowly.

"Yeah, isn't it wicked?" Peter asked.

"It's … a string and a tooth, a string and a tooth …"

"Not just any string, not just any tooth---that has been in the Pettigrew family for six generations. It's been good to us, but since you're my friend, Padfoot, I thought I'd give it to you. It's a genuine tooth from a saber tooth krofflaw; you know, those have been extinct just like the spotted Hippogriff for hundreds of years now," Peter explained. "Enjoy!" He glanced down at his watch. "Boy, I'm going to be late for breakfast. Coming, Frank? Remus?"

Frank shook his head and headed along with Peter to the door. Remus also went along, grabbing his book bag and giving Sirius an amused pat on the shoulder before leaving.

Sirius was left to stand there with the string and the tooth, mouth wide open.

& & & & &

"Good morning, Lily," said Taryn the moment Lily appeared at the Gryffindor table for breakfast.

Lily was about to reply sarcastically to Taryn's greeting when she noticed that several of her fellow Gryffindor's were throwing furtive glances her way, muttering behind their hands, perceivably about her.

"Well, this is starting out to be a brilliant day already," Lily said, sighing and dropping down onto the bench.

"How did you sleep?" Taryn asked in a small voice.

"Do you even have to ask?" Lily questioned in return, grabbing a muffin and feeling the stares people were giving her.

"The sofa doesn't look too uncomfortable," said Taryn.

"Oh, it was as soft and cozy as my bed!" Lily snapped, slightly annoyed. She exhaled a breath and stared down at the muffin on her plate before looking back up at Taryn. "By the way, thanks for not letting me sleep in your dormitory last night!"

"What?" Taryn asked guiltily. She lowered her tone even more. "The other girls would've chucked me too had I even tried to let you stay in our dormitory. You know what an influence Callie and Beth have over everyone; why jinx both of us in the foot when you could be outcasted alone?"

"Wow, that makes sense and makes me feel a whole lot better about not only being an outcast, but about the value of our friendship," Lily retorted sarcastically.

"Lily, c'mon! You know what I mean," said Taryn pleadingly. "Please know what I mean? Pretty, pretty please?

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Listen, I can't eat here. All of these stares are a bit much," Lily said, standing. She grabbed her book bag and started down the aisle between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables.

"Hey Evans!" Potter called from where he sat. "Did you get a good night's sleep? Armrest make for a good pillow?"

Lily ended up lightly jogging out of the Great Hall as a number of people chortled in response to Potter's joke.

She hurried down the entrance hall and pushed open the great oak front doors, hurrying down the stone steps and starting across the grass. She was pissed off and annoyed and all at the same time. She was so concentrated on being angry as she walked, glaring at her shoes as they stepped over the moist grass, she didn't hear Elyse English calling after her; Elyse was a pale and dark-haired friend of hers in the same year, but in Ravenclaw house. When she did finally hear someone calling out to her, she assumed it was someone following her to poke fun at her.

"What? What the hell do you want?" she yelled, unaware that it was Elyse. She came to a sudden stop and spun around, ready to tell whichever gossiper it was off.

"Me? I only want to find the current outcast of Hogwarts and shake her hand," Elyse said coolly, coming to a stop herself in front of Lily. She smirked and held out her hand. "So hey, good for you," she said, shaking Lily's hand. "Way to go."

"Elyse!" Lily groaned, frowning. "This isn't a joke."

"What? Excuse me for embracing the loser in us all," Elyse said innocently. She laughed quietly for a few seconds as Lily and she began to walk across the grass. "Look, Evans, it isn't a big deal. So the entirety of Hogwarts, including the innocent little owls, hates your guts and wishes you slip on a banana peel right about now---BIG DEAL!"

"Easy for you to say," Lily said, "you feed off of being outcasted."

"And you can too! It'll be just one more thing the Evans and English duo have in common; now we're both losers! Lovely, isn't it?" Elyse asked, putting her arm around Lily jokingly.

"Thanks? I suppose," said Lily, confused.

"How did you shower this morning, anyhow, if they won't let you into the dormitory? Wait, you did shower this morning, didn't you?" Elyse said, quickly removing her arm and taking a step away.

"Of course!" Lily said. Her cheeks tinged a light shade of pink. "Honestly? I waited until all of the boys from the fourth year dormitory were gone and then I used their bathroom."

"That's … hygienic, using the bathroom five pubescent fourteen-year-old boys piss and poop in," Elyse said with hesitancy.

"Yes, I know. No need to remind me. I was going to try and convince Taryn to let me use the fifth year girl's bathroom, but … I didn't want them to 'let the cold in'," Lily said, quoting the phrase Taryn had used the night before.

"There's cold in late April? Where?" Elyse said, glancing around.

Lily laughed. "Exactly what I thought, but they were only trying to cook up any excuse to oust me too. Damn Beth and her influential powers!"

"Yeah, damn her and her charming personality people like so much!" Elyse agreed dramatically, causing Lily to smile despite herself and roll her eyes. Elyse smiled too. "I'm only kidding, Lily. I can't help but be mocking and sarcastic. It's in my blood. My mum's a cynical bitch, my grandma Cookie is, and even our pet parakeet is; we've taught him pretty ruddy well."

Lily laughed as she hoisted her book bag higher over her shoulder. "You're actually making me feel a bit better."

"Keep in mind my main intention is to ridicule you," Elyse reminded as they headed back toward the castle.

"How could I ever forget?" Lily asked. She stared down at her shoes and the grass beneath with each footstep she took. "What do you think I should do? I can't go on being outcasted forever. Should I apologize to Beth---get down on my knees and beg and cry for forgiveness? Should I dump Aden? Should I buy my way into Beth's heart? I really just feel like jinxing her eyebrows off right about now come to think of it."

"You should take back your bed by force!" Elyse encouraged aggressively. "Who cares if those two-bit slags want to ban you from the dormitory? You have every last right to be there as they do, with their overly hair-sprayed rock hard helmet hair! Take back your bed and then laugh in their faces as they whine about it!"

"Elyse, no!" Lily gasped, eyes wide. "Are you spare?"

Elyse shrugged.

"I normally would love a chance to stick it to Beth, but let us not forget she'll simply turn everyone even more against me. I don't feel like being _that_ hated," Lily said.

"You're no fun," Elyse said as they reentered the castle and headed up the marble staircase. The bell had just rung and everyone was off to class. They themselves were headed for Transfiguration.

"Hey," said Faye Beesly, walking up right behind them and looking down at them from over their shoulders. Faye was a very tall, lean girl with plain facial features and light brown eyes. She was very athletic, a Beater on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and her attitude was a bit … boyish. Rarely did she ever comb her hair very well. This morning was no different; her orange frizz was forced into a sloppy ponytail at the back of her head. "I heard you're hated," she said to Lily. "That's terrible, Lily. It's not your fault Beth got her arse dumped."

"Tell me about it," Lily said miserably.

"She cares a bit too much," Elyse said to Faye.

"You care about me caring a bit too much too much," Lily snapped at Elyse.

"That … didn't really make any sense, but … okay." Elyse shrugged again.

"Did you know Beth, Callie and co. have started the Anti-Lily Coalition? They've got t-shirts and everything," Faye informed.

Lily stopped dead, too shocked to keep walking. "They what?"

"The Anti-Lily Coalition; they've got about thirty members already, including me."

"Faye!"

"Free t-shirt!" Faye said in justification.

"I came up with that organization name," Lily yelped sadly. "They're not even original."

"You're not going to cry are you? Because if you are, I'm going to have to laugh and point," Elyse warned.

"They have a slogan: hating Lily Evans since 1960," Faye continued.

"We were born in 1960!" Lily yelled in disbelief.

"I think that's the point," Faye said uncaringly as they at last reached the Transfiguration classroom.

"I'm telling you, Evans, just ignore them---you don't have to let them run you out of the dormitory," Elyse advised as they took their seats near the front of the class.

"What she said," Faye agreed.

"No," Lily said quietly, nodding her head in determination, "first I'm going to be diplomatic. I'm going to rationalize with Beth and convince her to stop this ridiculous Anti-Lily nonsense. She'll listen."

Elyse and Faye didn't reply; they only exchanged glances.

& & & & &

"Clear the halls---Birthday Boy coming through!" James shouted briskly to the packed hall of students.

Sirius grinned as many moved out of the way for him to get through. James followed, also grinning, as he thumped Sirius on the back.

"Mate, they love you," James said.

"I love me too," Sirius joked and they both laughed.

"It's a good day, April twenty-fourth," James commented. "Good day for a birthday."

Sirius released his jovial bark of a laugh. "By the way, Prongs, I'm going to write your mum and dad a long letter full of a bunch of thank yous for all the stuff they sent me."

"You're their second son, so they naturally shower you with nearly as many gifts as me," James replied. "And I hope you like my present too."

"A bag of Galleons? I love it," Sirius said with another laugh.

"Hi Sirius!" said a squeaky voiced fourth year girl with curly brown hair. She grinned a little bit too much, scrunching up her face, as she held up an envelope for him. "Happy Birthday!"

"Thanks … you."

"Susan. I'm your second cousin," she said, her gigantic grin turning into a half-frown. "You and James both went to my birthday party last year---you blew out the candles before I could, remember?"

It was clear Sirius didn't have a clue who the girl was. His eyes darted from left to right and he wore a very clueless expression on his face.

"Right, right … Susan, thanks. And sorry about the candles," he said finally.

"Thanks, but I'm still waiting on my birthday present; you promised me you would—"

"—here you can have this quill. It's pretty neat … happy birthday," Sirius said, handing over the quill that was in his pocket. He continued on walking with James, leaving his second cousin standing in the middle of the hallway with an insulted face and the quill in hand.

"_Who_ was that?" James asked, just as clueless as Sirius.

"I dunno. I'm hungry."

"Me too."

The two best friends made their way into the Great Hall and took their seats at the Gryffindor table. Remus and Peter were already there, enjoying some delicious roast beef sandwiches. Peter's eyes sparkled with joy at the sight of the Pettigrew necklace around Sirius' neck.

"You're wearing it!" Peter squealed happily.

"Yeah, I needed something to, err, accessorize my neck," Sirius lied.

"I'm glad the necklace could do that for you," Peter said.

"Me too, Wormy mate, me too. Pass the rolls."

James suddenly snorted in laughter, causing the other three to stare at him curiously.

"Look, Evans just entered the Hall! I find it really funny she's been kicked out of the dormitory," he said amusedly.

"James, it's actually a bit mean," Remus said.

"She's mean enough herself," James figured unsympathetically, shrugging. "At least I openly admit to being an arse, but Evans---she's still convinced she's such a good person. Give me a break."

"She's never been anything but very kind and polite to me," Remus said evenly.

"Me too. She helped me learn to tie my shoes back in first year, remember?" Peter chimed in.

"Pfft, I would have too if you hadn't run out of the dormitory like a baby after Padfoot and I tied your laces together," James said bitterly, taking a large bite out of his sandwich.

"Hey, what's this?" Sirius interrupted, picking up a fancy eagle feathered quill from the now empty spot on the bench beside him. The quill was clearly new and unused. "Well, now I don't have to ask Flitwick to borrow a quill later today in Charms."

James laughed. "That's funny! You gave your old quill to that weird girl Sarah and now you've found a nice new one."

"Yeah, pretty lucky of me. I'll consider it a birthday present from anonymous," Sirius said contently, pocketing the fine quality quill.

"I'm going to tease Evans a bit more today in Charms," James said with a smirk.

Remus shook his head in shame and rolled his eyes.

"What?" James asked. "It's all in good fun."

& & & & &

When time for Charms came, Lily entered the classroom and headed right for the desk Beth and Callie were seated. Both girls folded their arms and pointed their nose up in the air as soon as they spotted her coming, haughty airs about them. Lily knelt down in front of the desk and reminded herself to stay cool and collected despite the two girl's idiocy.

"Beth, I need to talk to you," Lily said quietly.

"Evans, you need many things, a bed being one of them, but talking to me? Not going to happen," Beth snarled nastily; Callie giggled.

_What do you think we're doing now, you woman cow! We're conversing, idiot!_

"Well, I only ask that you hear me out," Lily said instead, politely. "I have never had any ill feelings toward you, nor will I ever, even despite the way you now feel about me. I have also never had any intention to hurt you in any way, especially through Aden. Aden and I are in fact only friends and I really think it's a pity you've somehow formed the misconception that we're anything more."

Callie snorted and rolled her eyes. "Please, Evans, you were eating faces last night! Lisa Fischer saw you, don't try to deny it!"

_What is she, a voyeur?_

"I suppose Lisa needs a new pair of glasses, then," Lily said calmly. "I had Prefect duty last night and Aden, as Head Boy, also had duty last night. We're friends and we discussed ways to prevent students sneaking out past curfew. We strategized with McGonagall and that is all that happened."

_Ha, ha, ha …_

"Evans, get out of my air space. You're messing it all up," Beth said stubbornly, turning her head and pointing her nose to her right, so that she wouldn't have to look at Lily.

"By the way, Evans, have you seen our t-shirts?" Callie asked, reaching into her book bag and withdrawing one of them. It was a plain red t-shirt that read in bolded white lettering:

**Member of the Anti-Lily Coalition: Hating Lily Evans Since 1960**

**You're not alone; we hate her too!**

"Well, that's … " Lily trailed off there.

Callie and Beth collapsed into fits of giggles, and Lily knew then that it was a lost cause. She sighed in dread and stood up straight, turning and walking away toward the desk she shared with Elyse. She plopped down into her seat just as the tardy bell rang, and Elyse twisted over her chair to face Callie and Beth. She held her hands out by her ears, stuck out her tongue, and made a taunting face to Callie and Beth. The two girls exchanged looks and then laughed at Elyse. Elyse turned back to sitting straight and gave Lily a thumb up.

"I think I showed them," she muttered, winking.

"Oh, Elyse," Lily moaned, shaking her head from side to side.

"Today," squeaked little Professor Flitwick from his tall stack of books, "we're going to be keeping the same partners as last week and continuing our work on Aguamenti. So, partner up with your friend from last time if you haven't already seated yourself next to them!"

Only a few people in the class needed to move around to sit with their partner from the last class. Immediately the class broke out in chatter as Flitwick left them to their practice.

"So, have you decided what you're going to do?" Elyse asked as they practiced the charm.

Both had already mastered the charm and were simply trying to look as if they were still learning. It pleased Flitwick and both girls felt rather sorry for him; not too many of the others seemed to pay much attention to him.

"I don't know," Lily said glumly.

"I told you it was pointless to reason with them; their brains don't understand much outside of throaty grunts and crazy hand gestures; sort of like cavemen, but with wands and worse hair," Elyse explained.

"That's very constructive, thank you," Lily said.

"Should I keep going? I have endless material when it comes to those two reading comprehension-challenged aardvarks; I could insult them all day if I wanted," Elyse inquired, a serious expression on her face.

"I don't doubt that you could come up with a load of different insults, but it's somehow not making me feel any better," Lily said, moping.

"What if I spray one of them in the eye with their own gigantic can of hair spray? A laugh will be had by all!"

"No, no … I don't think that'd make me feel any better either," said Lily; Elyse looked disappointed.

"Hello Evans," Potter said abruptly, stopping at their desk and leaning forth to rest his arms on the table top.

Lily sighed audibly. "What do you want, Potter?"

"I want to congratulate you."

"For what?"

"I want to congratulate you for being the first Hogwarts students in _Hogwarts, A History_ to actually be kicked out of their bed," James said, laughing.

A few others caught onto what he was saying and chuckled too.

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Potter, I have a wand in my hand---don't tempt me!"

"Why don't you magic yourself a bed?"

More laughs ensued, and Lily's ears reddened, a sign of her temper. Her bright green eyes were so narrow by then that they had become thin slits.

"Potter, I'm going to hex you into a little bitty ant. And then I'm going to place you on the floor and stomp on you a good fifty-three times!"

"Whoa, Evans, don't take out your anger on me! It's not my fault you're a bit too passive for your own good," James said coolly.

"Leave me alone! Seriously, Potter, how hard would that be, to just pretend I don't exist?" Lily asked furiously, growing so angry she was slowly rising out of her chair.

"All right, I'm sorry! It's not your fault there's an Anti-Lily Coalition; just like Snivellus, it's not you're fault you're hated! At least the Galleons for a Greaseless Future Foundation has about twenty more members than the Anti-Lily Coalition. That's a consolation prize, Evans," James teased. "You're hated! But not as much as Snape! That's soothing, right?"

More of her classmates giggled from Potter's words.

"SHUT UP!" Lily screamed irately, jumping to her feet. "Leave me _alone_, Potter," Lily growled. She was so furious she couldn't stand to stay in class. She grabbed her book bag and hurled for the door, wrenching it open and getting the hell away from there.

She left the class in silence; even Flitwick had no idea what to say.

James made a face of indifference and then shrugged as he waltzed back over to the desk he shared with Sirius. From the desk next to his and Sirius', Remus looked disgusted with him and Peter appeared confused.

"I think she's having a bad day," James whispered to Sirius, to which Sirius fervently nodded.

& & & & &

"Hey Lily," said Faye hours later as most of the Gryffindors disappeared off to bed. Faye sat down on the sofa next to Lily.

Lily hadn't gone to any of her classes after Charms and she had skipped dinner. She appeared in the common room only a few minutes before people began going up to bed. She sat on the sofa cushion, legs folded beneath her, and a composed expression on her face as she finished up her Herbology essay.

"Hey," Lily replied shortly to Faye.

"How are you?" Faye asked. "I was a little worried. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Lily said simply. She looked up from her essay and shrugged. "I've cooled off."

"Listen, you can sleep in your bed. I don't care what Callie, Beth or Panme have to say about it; I'll step in tonight and side with you. Who cares if they continue this Anti-Lily rubbish? Let them!" Faye said boldly.

"No, that's okay," Lily said evenly. "I've accepted that I apparently betrayed Beth and that I need to pay my dues, and so I am. I'm going to pay them proudly with my chin out and nose up. I will sleep out here on the couch. I'm not going to beg anyone else to take me into their dormitory; I'm not going to plead with Beth for forgiveness; I'm not going to go to McGonagall and tell her about what's going on. I'm going to be outcasted with eloquence and a tough skin. I'm going to sleep on this common room sofa and I'm going to go on with my life."

"Wow." Faye stared at Lily, stunned. "That's kind of … cool of you."

"Thanks. I'd like to think, strangely enough, my mum would be proud of me if she knew," Lily said offhandedly. "I mean, I'm not letting stupid catty girls ruin anything for me, am I? I'm going on with my life while they're obsessed with making me miserable. It's actually a bit, well, flattering."

Faye laughed. "Only you, Lily A. Evans."

"Thanks. Well, I better go brush my teeth in the lavatory next floor below," Lily said casually, rolling up her parchment and putting away her Herbology book and school supplies.

"Good night," Faye said, standing. "Get some decent sleep."

"Oh, I will. It's pretty cozy here by the fire," Lily said confidently. She rummaged through her trunk as the last few people beside herself and Faye disappeared up into their dormitories. The last three girls on their way up were snickering behind their hands and pointing at Lily.

Lily stood, pajamas swathed over her arm and toothbrush and paste in hand, and she waved at the girls, smiling pleasantly.

"Good night, girls!" she said loudly and brightly. "See you tomorrow!"

The girls looked at one another with weird, confused expressions and then decided to respond to Lily's indifferent nature by laughing at her some more, apparently in hopes of getting to her this time. It didn't work and they ended up just giving up and retreating into their dormitories even more confused.

"Well, see you," Lily said to Faye, heading toward the Portrait Hole.

Faye, flabbergasted and amazed, stood there and watched Lily go. She'd never tell her, but she admired Evans more than any other girl in the castle.

As Lily approached the Portrait Hole, it opened and Potter came climbing through. He was about to make a witty, teasing comment when he was caught off-guard by a smile from Lily.

"Hey Potter," Lily said, climbing into the hole. "Night."

The Portrait Hole closed after her, and Potter was left standing just as dumbfounded as Faye. He turned slowly to face Faye, gesturing with his hand toward the Portrait Hole, about to ask what in the hell was going on.

"Yeah, I know," Faye interrupted before he could ask. "Strange, I know."

& & & & &

Thanks for readin'! You know what to do next. Starts with an 'R', ends with a 'W'. Review mirror minus the mirror! Hehe. :)


	3. I Challenge You to a Duel!

**3, I Challenge You to a Duel!**

_Temper gets you into trouble. Pride keeps you there._

_-Unknown_

**&&**

The big beam on Lily's face was enough to make both Faye and Taryn exchange glances, eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Well, you're looking chipper today," Taryn observed.

"I'm looking chipper because I am chipper," Lily said with a simple shrug and smile.

"It's been a week since you've moved in on that sofa and the heat seems to be dying down," Faye said. "I think Beth and Callie are getting bored."

"I'd imagine so; they've really tried everything---hiding my things by putting my trunk on the roof of Gryffindor tower, jinxing the ceiling above the sofa to leak with mysterious oozing liquid, and taking moving photographs of me asleep, which I suppose were intended to embarrass me," Lily said.

"None of it has worked," Taryn said proudly. "You're my idol!"

Faye rolled her eyes. "Oh, Taryn, shut up."

"I suggest the three of you hush your mouths or I'll have to kick you out of the library!" Madam Pince butted in, coming over with a stern expression and her hands on her hips.

"Sorry, Madam Pince," Lily apologized genuinely. She smiled politely and continued ruffling through the pages of her Potion's textbook.

Taryn waited until Madam Pince had walked away and returned to her desk to read before saying to Faye in a hushed voice, "how is your attempt of convincing Perry Belkin and McGonagall to make you next year's Quidditch captain coming along?"

"Eh, not well. Stupid Potter wants it as much as I do," Faye replied sulkily. "He won't stop slipping Belkin little goodies before and after practices and complimenting McGonagall on her shoes."

"Don't let him win, Faye," Lily encouraged. "Break his legs if you have to."

"I second this," Taryn whispered, looking amused.

"I wish, but I think by this stage in the game it'd look a tad bit suspicious from my end," Faye said, sighing. She stared out of the nearby window where the Quidditch Pitch could be seen in the distance. "I bet you anything Potter's sabotaging this whole competition for captaincy right this moment."

& & & & &

"Thanks for the new broom, Potter," Belkin said happily.

"Don't mention it; it only cost a good five dozen Galleons," James responded with a wave of his hand. "It was nothing, really. I'll buy you another one next week if you'd like."

Perry laughed. "I think I'll stick with this one for a bit, mate."

"All right, but if you need anything else---a new set of robes, some revenge on a particular student, alcoholic cough medicine, otherwise known by the name of fire whiskey---just tell me and a blink of an eye later it'll be yours," James said in all seriousness, smiling.

"Will do, Potter!" Belkin said as he reached the door to his dormitory, the seventh year boy's.

"See you!" James said with a wave as Belkin disappeared inside.

As soon as he was gone James crossed the landing to his own dormitory. He pulled open the door and shut it as soon as he was inside, looking doubly pleased with himself.

"Finished bribing Perry Belkin I see," Remus observed from where he read on his bed.

"Yeah, just now; it went great!" James replied happily.

He was halfway to his bed when he spotted a surreal look on Sirius' face.

"What's with you?" he asked.

"I tried that," Remus said. "He's not answering. I think he's been having a bout of luck."

"Luck wouldn't even begin to describe it," Sirius said dazedly, eyes wide and sparkling with enthusiasm. "Not only did I ace that Herbology essay I wrote five minutes before class began, but I earned fifty points to Gryffindor thanks to McGonagall, simply for spotting her about to slip on a banana peel! And then as if my day couldn't get even better, Sienna Hart, the third last extremely attractive girl in the school not to go out with me or snog me, wants to go out with me _AND_ snog me!"

"Who are the two last?" Remus asked.

"Only two left now are Strauss and Evans, but Merlin knows that's not going to happen with either of those ice queens," Sirius said dismissively. He looked excited just talking about the subject of Sienna. "She's been very nice to me ever since my birthday and my flirt-o-meter was off the charts, you know, suspecting something was up, and something is! The girl digs me, Prongs, the girl can't get enough of me and my tush!"

"So you're going out?" James said.

"We are, but as if her asking me out wasn't brilliant enough, she led me to one of those secluded spots underneath the beech trees, and we snogged for a whole two hours---I can't feel my lips! The poor babies are tired and need some good beauty rest," Sirius said all very fast and energetically.

"Wow, mate, good one!" James said proudly, giving Sirius a high five.

"Excuse me while I go take a nice hot shower; I think I'll sing as I do, for the first time in a few weeks," Sirius said brightly, prancing over to the bathroom.

Remus looked terribly amused as the bathroom door shut and he and James were now alone.

"I hope he's not the only one having good luck," James said. "Hopefully I'll be picked for Quidditch captain."

& & & & &

"All right, let me get this straight," Faye said as she, Lily and Taryn entered the semi-crowded common room. "One of us, dressed solely in black to hide our appearance, is going to sneak into Potter's dormitory at night and jinx him? How serious of a jinx?"

"I suggest some sort of confidence losing charm," Lily said, smirking. "Imagine! He'd be awful at Quidditch without that big fat head of his."

"Big fat head of whose? You three lovely ladies wouldn't, by chance, be talking about me, are you?" James asked arrogantly as he came down the boy's staircase and met them near the table they were going to sit and chat.

"Oh, no, Potter," Lily falsely reassured. "Why would the term 'big fat head' be used in context to you? It really wouldn't make any sense at all. If anything, we're talking about anyone _but_ you."

"I thought so," James said.

"Potter, what did you buy Belkin today, a broom?" Faye asked, eyes narrowed.

"No! It just so happens that he mysteriously received one via owl post an hour ago," James said.

"Mysteriously, eh? Right," Faye snapped.

"Surely you're not implying that … that _I_ sent it to him, are you, Faye Beesly?" James asked innocently, causing Lily to roll her eyes.

"Potter," Lily said coldly, stepping directly into his line of vision and glaring at him in the eye, "do you ever stop being annoying?"

"Really, Evans, I don't take criticism from people who snore louder than Hagrid," James insulted.

"I don't snore!"

"What do you call what you were doing in those photographs Brown and Van Herk took of you on the sofa? Drooling and snoring, snoring and drooling … quite unattractive; I think you lost twenty pretty points just from those photographs," James said, crossing his arms and smirking cheekily.

"Good, at least we mutually find each other unattractive now," Lily shot back. "I always felt a bit guilty for you pining over me when I've always only found you repulsive."

"See again, Evans, I don't see how you're in the position to insult anyone, especially not me. Let's not forget or ignore that you're the most hated person in school right now. Even Snape has made friends in the owls. But you to they? Pfft, they frankly have attended every Anti-Lily Coalition meeting thus far," James said, crossing his arms.

Neither Lily nor James seemed to be aware that most of everyone in the common room was now listening in on their argument with nosy ears.

"You keep throwing the whole sleeping on the sofa thing in my face, Potter. You do realize it doesn't bother me one bit? You can _help_ Brown and Van Herk put my trunk on the Gryffindor tower roof this time, and I won't care. I don't think my trunk is too intimidated either," Lily countered.

"Yeah, you can say you don't care all you want, but fact of the matter is, dear, you sleep on a couch second year Dean West pissed on two weeks ago," James said softly, as if in an attempt to soothe her.

"I've just thought of the most brilliant idea, Potter," Lily said suddenly and bravely. She took a step closer to him.

"Oh? Do tell," Potter said coolly.

"I challenge you to a duel!"

There were actual intakes of breath and gasps from those around the common room. People exchanged glances with one another, horribly shocked, and muttered indiscreetly amongst themselves.

James was apparently very surprised with Lily's words. He seemed uncomfortable with the idea, appearing confused.

Lily smirked and released a small laugh. "I don't mean a duel of wands, Potter, calm down. As much as I hate you, I don't think I want to physically hurt you---it'd be a lot more fun to hurt that ridiculously massive ego of yours, and thus I am challenging you to an epic game of … Exploding Snap."

People laughed, including Potter. Lily kept her confidence, though, smirk and all.

"I'm not finished, Potter," she said and silence fell once more.

"What, Evans? Do you want to play a game of wizarding chess too? Getting a bit lonely out in the common room by yourself?" James teased to a few more chuckles.

"Loser must sleep in the common room all by their lonesome for the rest of the year; winner gets your bed for the rest of the year," Lily challenged boldly.

There were sounds of shock and anticipation from those in the audience, and James for a fleeting moment seemed unsure of whether or not to accept the challenge. But then he seemed to remember that he was James Potter and he had a reputation to uphold; not to mention he had to be arrogant as always.

"All right, Evans, you're on," James said. "We'll play on Saturday and when you lose, you'll at least have nothing to adjust to."

"Yeah, if I lose," Lily agreed fairly. Her smirk widened as she said, "But remember, Potter, if _you_ lose, you'll have some big adjustments to make … and I'll be sleeping in your nice cozy bed while you'll be nursing your wounded ego on the sofa."

There were more sounds of anticipation as Lily spun on her heel and left the common room. The Gryffindors returned to their activities of before, but everyone was now talking about this much anticipated game between enemies James Potter and Lily Evans. Taryn and Faye, both who had remained silent through the row that had just taken placed, were still too shocked to say a word.

James marched up to his dormitory with pride and arrogance, going inside to tell Sirius and Remus what had just happened. He'd never admit it aloud, but he was a little intimidated and worried.

& & & & &

**Dun, dun, dun. Short chappie, I know, but chapter 4 is coming up very soon, and it is longer than this one. So leave some reviews, guys! And thank you for reading, as always:)**


	4. Miss Temper Vs Mr Ego, Round I

**4, Miss Temper Vs. Mr. Ego---Round I**

_Win as if you were used to it, lose as if you enjoyed it for a change._

_-Ralph Waldo Emerson_

**&&**

"What in the bloody hell have I got myself into?" were the first words out of Lily's mouth the moment she exited the Portrait Hole and entered the empty hall. She ran her hands through her thick, full red hair and released an unsteady breath. If she lost she would be not only an outcast, but a fool. Potter would never let her hear the end of it and neither would anyone else.

She folded her arms around herself and started down the hall, descending staircases and deeply immersed in thought.

She couldn't deny the fact that she was worried and regretting the entire challenge. She had let her temper and thirst for revenge get the best of her, and the result was challenging Potter on such a foolish whim.

Lily wasn't even a very good Exploding Snap player. She hadn't played in nearly a year and she almost always lost.

She was so caught up in her anxious thoughts that she didn't even realize she was all the way down on the ground floor, right near the entrance to the Great Hall. She wandered in to find it nearly empty save for a few students finishing up on their late suppers, and her eyes lit up when they landed on a certain Miranda Goshawk sitting alone at the Hufflepuff table.

She beamed broadly and snapped her fingers.

_That's it! How couldn't I have thought of it before? Miranda, good ole' Miranda!_

Miranda Goshawk the third was a decently close friend of Lily's. Daughter of Miranda Goshawk the second, famous author and daughter of Miranda Goshawk the first, the initial famous author behind the _Grade Spell Books_, Miranda the third was caught up in being an individual. As wealthy as other prestigious wizarding families such as the Potter's, Miranda wanted to make a name for herself, and so she attempted to be good at whatever she could. Unfortunately, she was really only good at three things: telling people off, being bossy, and playing Exploding Snap.

Lily hurried down the aisles and straight to the Hufflepuff table where Miranda was seated, eating her onion soup.

"Miranda," Lily said breathlessly, "have I told you how much I absolutely adore you today?"

"You're about the only one who hasn't," Miranda said, looking up from the steaming hot bowl of soup. "What is it, Lily? What do you need?"

"What do you mean?"

"You only come say 'hi' to Miranda when you need something; no one ever remembers us poor little forgotten Hufflepuffs," Miranda said. "Of course, the only remembered Hufflepuffs are Helga Hufflepuff, my mum and grandmother. Not me, though, oh no! I'm just Miranda the third. No writing talent whatsoever and so I'm reduced to this---sitting alone and eating tasty onion soup."

Lily rolled her eyes, grinning. "Miranda, do you ever abandon the 'poor me, Miranda the third' act? I've seen you recite it everyday since first year."

"And I'll recite it to the day I die."

"I suppose it wouldn't be you if you didn't," Lily figured, shrugging. She sighed deeply and worked up the courage to ask what she had intended. "Listen, Miranda, my special friend, I do have a favor to ask of you."

"Knew it."

"It isn't a big deal, really."

"Doubt it."

"But could you, erm, well … could you possibly train me to have half the skill you do at Exploding Snap?" Lily asked meekly.

Miranda laughed. It wasn't exactly the reaction Lily was expecting.

"Lily," Miranda said when her laughter had finally died down. "I can't just _train_ talent and skill; you have to be _born_ with it, hence why mum and grandmother can't train me to write as well as they … or them. Grr, I hate grammar! Great, now I'm depressed again. Looks like I need a fourth helping of some onion soup."

Spotting the dejected and disappointed look on Lily's face, Miranda caved in. "But what the hell? I have nothing to do with my evenings but eat soup and think about the meaning of life---I'll do it!"

"Yes! Thank you!"

"One question, though, why in the devil do you want to learn to play Exploding Snap half as good as me?" Miranda asked, confused.

"Oh, well, I suppose you'll find out about it sooner or later; better sooner. I stupidly challenged Potter to a big anticipated game of Exploding Snap; winner takes his dormitory bed and loser takes the sofa in the common room for the rest of the year," Lily explained with a cringe.

"Oh, Lily … you fireball; you've got to control that temper of yours," Miranda advised. "But all right; I'd love for you to finally deflate Potter's ego and I'm sure you'll more than love it. One condition, this training is your birthday present."

"You're rich!"

"And greedy," Miranda added.

"Fine."

"All right, we'll practice on evenings. When's the game?"

"This Saturday."

"Better start now. We've got four good days to get you in shape," Miranda said, whipping out a deck of cards from underneath the sleeve of her robes.

Lily watched on in amazement.

"I'll make a champ of you yet, kid," Miranda promised with amusement, dealing the cards with expert speed.

& & & & &

"Good morning, chaps!" James greeted brightly the next morning. He took a place on the bench in between Peter and Frank.

"You look happy," Remus observed from over the top of his History of Magic book.

"I am. Quidditch practice tonight. And, Moony, will you put that thing away? We're going to History of Magic in ten minutes; can't your education wait that long?" James asked, eyeing the book with distaste.

"No, it can't. We're having an exam today, James, you know that."

"Thanks for reminding me," Peter said frowningly, staring into his bowl of porridge as if he had been sentenced to twelve years in Azkaban.

"You'll do fine, Peter," Remus said. "You were studying last night before bed."

Peter's eyes were shifty enough to cause James and Sirius to smirk.

"Right, you studied, Petey ole' boy! You'll ace this, surely!" Sirius exclaimed.

"I'm going to enjoy seeing Faye Beesly's jealous scowl this evening," James said cockily. "Wait to she actually see's the broom I bought Perry---Lightning Dust 78, one of the fastest models of brooms out right now! _I_ don't even have one."

"Yeah, you're still flying around on that shitty Nimbus 77; what the hell is wrong with you?" Sirius asked mockingly, snorting.

"A 1978 model is better!"

"Barely, by a green toenail!"

Remus choked on his mouthful of cornflakes, milk slipping out the sides of his mouth. "Please, I'm eating!"

"All the more reason to continue with the references to repulsive stuff!" Sirius laughed.

It was only a few minutes later that the bell would sound and everyone would slowly rise off of the benches and leave the Great Hall, heading over to their first class for the day. The four Marauders along with Frank left the Gryffindor table together and headed over to the second floor where History of Magic was located.

They were turning the corner, entering the hall where the classroom was, when two hands from behind a suit of armor grabbed Sirius roughly from the hood of his school robes, forcing him to come to a halt. The other four stopped themselves and looked on confusedly as Sienna Hart appeared from behind the suit of armor.

The saucy blonde greeted Sirius hello with an aggressive, passionate kiss on the lips, holding onto the front of his robes as she pulled him to her. James, Remus, Peter, and Frank all grinned and exchanged looks. When Sienna released Sirius, letting go of the front of his robes so suddenly he stumbled backward, Sirius looked bewildered but pleased. He glanced over his shoulder at them, an eventual stunned grin coming to his face.

"Mates," he said as Sienna seemed ready to pounce on him again. "I'll see you in ten days."

"Right on!" James, Peter and Frank blurted in cheer.

"Sirius!" Remus said disapprovingly; the momentary grin falling off of his face. "We have a History of Magic exam---chapters forty to sixty. You can't possibly—"

"Moony," James whispered quite audibly, "don't be such a Negative Nancy."

Sirius looked from Remus and then to Sienna, who was smirking, and he shrugged.

"Moony, I sure as hell can skip that test!" Sirius said, grabbing Sienna's hand and together they disappeared around the corner of the hallway together, Sienna already all over him.

"Well, I'm wondering if we could possibly find some sort of potion to clone Sienna Hart," James said, breaking the silence that had fallen once the two left.

Peter laughed. "That'd be wicked!"

Remus merely rolled his eyes, though it seemed a smile was tugging at his lips. Together the four of them finished the short distance left to History of Magic, and they barely made it too---as they entered the tardy bell sounded, and Professor Binns administered the test straightaway.

& & & & &

"What are you two doing?" Taryn asked, plopping down onto the grass right next to Lily and Miranda.

"Hush, we're in the midst of an intense game of Exploding Snap," Miranda said, eyes focused on the cards. The castle could be burning down and she'd hardly take notice; Lily had the same look in her eyes as well.

"Oh, Lily, you sly little doggie," Taryn said, coming to smirk proudly. "You've asked for the help of Miranda to help you play Exploding Snap better---pretty good idea!"

"Yeah, but shh," Lily hushed.

"Please, my talking could hardly distract you two," Taryn said dismissively.

"SHHH!" they said together, the two pairs of eyes glued to the cards on the grass in between them.

"But it's our break and I haven't gotten a chance to talk to either of you since—"

"—_Silencio!_"

Miranda looked impressed. "Good job. _Someone _is a bit of a ruddy chatterbox; not naming any names, Taryn."

Lily smiled and for a moment they took their eyes off of the game to glance at a now soundless Taryn.

Taryn looked insulted as she stood, mouthing an obvious, "Jerks!" before stomping off, dragging her book bag along with her.

"You're going to be ready for your match with Potter in no time, Lily," Miranda said with assurance.

As Taryn stomped off across the lawns, Sirius jogged lightly to catch up with Remus and Peter, both of him were heading inside to go up to Gryffindor Tower.

"Hey mates," Sirius said once he caught up with them.

"If it isn't Mr. Luck himself," said Remus.

"Yeah, he pisses Felix Felicis and poops Galleons," Peter teased.

Sirius chuckled heartily. "Good one, Wormtail. But, really, what did I miss in all of our classes today?"

"Well, your lucky streak has run another few miles, Padfoot," Remus explained as they walked up the marble staircase.

"What does that mean?"

"Professor Binns gave us the exam and we were about five minutes into it when Malfoy decided to be a right prat and set fire to Frank's robes. The fire caught onto some desks and the robes of others before someone actually cast a good enough water charm to extinguish it," Peter went on. "Binns decided we'd spend the rest of the hour and forty-five minutes by going over chapters forty to sixty. Everyone fell asleep after the first twenty minutes of his ramble."

"You … you mean I … didn't miss the test?" Sirius said, amazed.

"Sure didn't," confirmed Peter.

"Wow! I _am_ lucky!" Sirius gasped, gray eyes alight with astonishment.

"Yes, very. We also did little to nothing in any of our other classes. You didn't miss much at all," Remus said almost reluctantly, as if resenting that Sirius had actually benefited from skipping a day of classes.

Sirius was absolutely pleased. He was very lucky after all and it was all thanks to the intriguing, salacious Sienna Hart.

& & & & &

For the next few days Lily and Miranda continued intense sessions of training, and soon by late Thursday evening, Miranda was completely convinced Lily was a good Snap player.

"Not as good as me, of course," she said mildly, "but you still can kick some good Potter arse!"

"Can't wait!" Lily said and she beamed.

Meanwhile, Perry Belkin held Gryffindor practice every night that week. The competition for captaincy between James and Faye was intense and obvious, so obvious it could be felt in the air during practice. Faye had taken up to flirting, quite horrendously at that, with Belkin to win him over, while James continued to promise extravagant gifts. Still, Belkin was completely unbiased and showed no real favorite of the two.

It frustrated both of them entirely and it didn't help that they were exhausted after every practice. Perry was training them all ridiculously hard for their big championship match against Hufflepuff. Every single member on the Quidditch team felt overwhelmed with pressure and exhaustion, no longer having too much time to do anything but practice, sleep, eat, attend lessons, and practice some more.

By the time the Saturday morning sunshine poured into the dormitory window, strewn over James's bed, he was startled to remember that his big showdown with Evans was that very night. He sat up in his bed and ruffled his hair with his hand, trepidation jiggling in his stomach.

"What's wrong with you?" Peter asked as exited the bathroom from his shower and finished dressing.

"I … sort of lost track of the days," James said.

"What d'you mean?"

"Today's Saturday."

"Yeah, day off---woo!"

"Wormtail, _Saturday_."

"Oh, right. Ha, ha, the game between Lily and you! Silly me. Wow, Prongs, you're gonna lose," Peter said quite bluntly.

"Wormtail!"

"Well, nothing's certain, I suppose, but-but … it's just that … well, err …"

"Just that what? What, Peter, what?"

"I've heard Lily's been practicing every night with Miranda Goshawk," Peter said.

James looked ill. "I can't lose," he muttered over and over again to himself. He seemed to snap out of the shocked trance and he leapt over the length of his bed, grabbing Peter by the front of his sweater vest. "Wormtail, Exploding Snap, _NOW_!"

"But … breakfast!"

"Exploding Snap!" James said over him, now digging frantically through his trunk for a deck of cards.

Peter frowned disappointedly, his chubby little face looking quite adorable then.

"Bye-bye toast dunked in syrup," he mumbled.

& & & & &

All day the game was all anyone could talk about. It was seen as the "climax" to the ongoing Evans and Potter feud, and students were even taking bets and sides to who they predicted would win. Most of the school seemed to think Lily was doomed and that competitive, Quidditch star James Potter would prevail again, as per usual. The predictions didn't phase Lily one bit. Miranda's coaching and words of confidence in her were all that really mattered.

She was even getting a little hopeful that she really would win, and finally be able to have a dormitory again. Granted, it would be a dormitory of seventeen year old boys, but … they weren't _so_ bad. Sure Black was almost as bad as Potter, but Remus was very, very tolerable and pleasant, and both Peter and Frank were pretty nice to her too, most of the time. She was even beginning to look at it as an improvement from her dormitory of catty hags.

James made Peter play Exploding Snap with him most of the day in hopes of getting a bit better than he typically was. At least having Sirius reassure him of his win made him feel better. According to Sirius, there was no way in hell Evans would beat him. He would win and end the year on a high note of arrogance, as he usually did. That improved James's spirits greatly.

By the time seven o' clock in the evening rolled around, everyone in Gryffindor was gathered around the common room, waiting eagerly for both players to show up. James was up in his dormitory with his Marauders.

"You've got this one in the bag, mate," Sirius said, massaging James's shoulders.

"I do? What sort of bag?"

"Uhh," Sirius seemed a bit unsure for a moment, "a giant black one! Suede."

"Oooh," James and Peter said in unison.

From where he sat on his bed reading, Remus smiled to himself, nodded his head, and rolled his eyes all at once.

"You're right, Padfoot," James said, looking anxious. "I'm going to win! I'm a winner and winners always win!"

"Weren't you seventeen to thirty with Peter?" Remus pointed out.

"Moony, there will be no logic in this dormitory! Prongs is a winner!" Sirius scolded, finishing up his massage of James's shoulders.

"Yeah!" James and Peter cheered.

"All right, sport, game time!" Sirius said, clapping his hands on James's shoulders and then ruffling his hair.

James jumped to his feet, stretching as if he were about to engage in intense physical action. Remus could barely contain his laughter from where he sat in the corner. Luckily he could hide behind his trusty Astronomy book while he snickered to himself.

Sirius stepped over to the dormitory and swept it open, moving out onto the landing of the dormitory. Everyone down below in the common room looked up in anticipation.

"Ladies, gents … ugly ladies, I now grace you with the presence of tonight's victor---you've seen him nude, you've seen him eat food, hell, you've seen him when he's poo'd, Jaaaaaames Potter!"

Everyone clapped and cheered as Peter shoved James out onto the landing. James waved with a sheepish grin as he then made his way down the boy's staircase. Sirius pulled his wand from out of his back jean pocket to magic some mighty champion music to play. He followed James down the stairs, egging everyone on to continue their cheers for James. Peter and Remus followed behind a lot more calmly.

The bouts of cheer went on for another good solid moment, and from the table where the game would be played, Faye and Taryn exchanged agitated glances and rolled their eyes. Potter, Black and everyone else were being ridiculous, and both of the girls couldn't wait until Lily hopefully shut him up once and for all.

Just as the cheers were still louder than ever, the Portrait Hole opened and in crawled Lily. Everyone fell dead silent as Lily stood up straight, fixing her sweater and brushing her strands of hair out of her eye. She walked quietly from the Portrait Hole and to the table, her footsteps echoing in the silent common room. James watched her from where he stood, the expression on his face vague and unreadable.

When Lily reached the end of her table, she said simply, "Ready to play?"

James hesitated for a second and then nodded. "I was born playing; shot right out from between my mum's legs playing Exploding Snap while catching the Snitch in my newborn baby hand."

People laughed and muttered amongst themselves. Girls in admiration of Potter were practically swooning.

Lily was about to take her seat when James darted out toward her. "Let me, Evans," he said, pulling the chair out for her. "I want this loss to be as gentle and shameless for you as possible."

More sounds from the watching crowd, varying from chuckles to 'awes' on the some of the girls end. Lily didn't say anything, wanting not to egg on his arrogance but to simply get to playing. She allowed him to hold out her chair for her and push it in gentlemanly.

He walked around the small square table to his own end and dropped down into his seat.

"The deck of cards," he said, reaching his hand out to Sirius.

"No," Lily interrupted. "We use an unbiased, new deck of cards. I'd hate for the cards Sirius has to be tampered with somehow," Lily said. She looked around into the audience. "Eric Hornby?" Lily said randomly, selecting a timid third year. "You're an avid Exploding Snap player, aren't you? Do you have a deck of cards we can use?"

"S-Sure. Hang on, let me go and fetch them from my dormitory," the boy said, fighting through the crowd to the dormitory staircase. He disappeared for a few seconds only to return with a deck in his hands. He hurried over, the crowd breaking for him, and handed the deck to James.

"All right, Evans, fair enough," James said coolly. "Shall we begin?"

"Yes, but before we do, I'd like to be clear of the prize and consequence of this game," Lily said tonelessly. "Winner ends up with your bed in the dormitory; loser ends up with my comfy sofa. Both for the rest of the school year. No loopholes, no means of weaseling one's way out, no going back, and _no_ going to a higher authority about this, including every staff member in existence. This is a done deal game. Is that clear and agreed?"

James nodded. "Righto, love."

"Good. Deal the cards."

From behind where James sat, Sirius and Peter exchanged pointed glances.

It felt like the longest game of Exploding Snap in the history of, well, Exploding Snap. No one made a sound and so the only source of noise came from the cards when they exploded in tiny, thin flames and sparks, curling up burnt and crisp afterwards.

The scores were close. One moment Lily would edge James out and then the next flip of a card from the two stacks in the middle, James would overtake her.

"A single pair," Lily said, eyes concentrated on the cards on the table. She placed down her five cards and watched as James placed down his.

"A Snap straight," James said, uncovering the five cards. He smirked. "Seven for me."

Lily clearly looked displeased as the small magicked scoreboard they'd placed on the mantel of the fireplace, updated the points and as her hand of five cards exploding. The cards were dwindling down and soon the game would be over. Each only had ten cards remaining, and James was leading by sixteen points, the biggest gap of the game so far.

"All right," Lily said, taking five from her stack. She slid one to the bottom of the stack in the middle, and took a card from its top. She peeked at the card, placing it with the four others and then looked up at James. "Well, a snap straight for me too."

"Four of a kind, love."

By this hand there were pleased grumbles from the audience, and Lily once more allowed displeasure to cross her face. Her five cards were engulfed in flames before her, loud snaps erupting into the air. She felt like giving up there. She had already lost the game.

Inhaling a deep, deep breath, she flipped took her last five cards into her hand, her expression not a good one.

James blurted out a, "YES!" and whooped at the air, even standing.

Sirius peered over James's shoulder at his last hand and his eyes doubled in size. "Prongs, you bastard---straight snap flush!"

Others erupted in cheers and applause as well as the game was over. Soon the common room was filled with chatter and ovation as everyone began to move away from their spots gathered around the table.

Then, suddenly, into the noise of chatter and applause in the common room, a massive, explosive _Snap!_ startled everyone in the room, for not Lily's hand had exploded, but James's. The scoreboard had updated the points and Lily had won, surpassing James by two points.

"What?" James yelped in sheer disbelief.

It was then that Lily laid out her cards on the table for all to see.

"On behalf of the Queen of England, I declare this a beautiful Royal Flush."

Gasps of shock and uttering's of confusion filled the common room as Lily smirked satisfactorily, as James's jaw dropped to the floor, as Faye and Taryn high-fived, and as Sirius and Peter looked dumbfounded and disappointed.

"I win!" Lily squeaked happily, jumping to her feet with her arms in the air.

James wouldn't stop gawking at the five cards Lily had laid out onto the table; neither could anyone else. Everyone save for Lily, Taryn and Faye could do nothing else but gawk and gape at those five little cards, and Lily beamed triumphantly.

Some seconds of stunned silence passed over the common room before Lily decided to be gracious and extend her hand for James to shake.

"Good game, Potter," she said kindly, even offering a smile.

But James didn't accept her handshake. Still, he gaped at the five winning cards on the table, every now and then glancing up at the scoreboard as if the numbers had changed in the last ten or so seconds.

Lily withdrew her hand and shrugged, hurrying over to her trunk. She pulled it along with her as she made her way up the boy's dormitory staircase, stopping only when she reached the landing of the sixth year boy's dormitory. She opened the door and pulled her trunk inside, pausing before closing the door only to say to the dead silent common room full of every single Gryffindor, "Night."

And with that, Lily Evans shut the door.

& & & & &

**Thanks for the reviews, guys! They mean a lot and are so encouraging---keep 'em up! And, yes, since Lily has won this now means her dormmates are Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Frank, LOL. And James's dormmate is the sofa and fireplace. Thanks for reading, now please review! XD**


	5. Dorming with the Enemy

**5, Dorming with the Enemy**

_Live well. It is the greatest revenge.  
-Unknown_

**&&**

The moment the alarm clock in the dormitory sounded, Lily popped up to a sit in her new bed, stretching her arms high into the air, a content look on her face.

Remus was also rising, standing and making his bed. The other three, though, were not moving. Sirius, Peter and Frank all hid under their pillows and kept on sleeping.

Lily shook her head in shame as she rose from the bed and gathered her clothes and toiletries. She wanted to be the first one to shower before the other four got a chance. She thought it was only fair she got to use the bathroom first. She marched straight for the bathroom and shut the door right behind her.

It would be a good forty minutes later that she'd emerge from the bathroom, clean and well-groomed, already dressed in a simple blouse and skirt, beaming. She walked right back over to her trunk perched on the edge of James's bed.

"Good morning, Remus," she greeted kindly.

"Good morning, Lily," Remus replied, trying his hardest to appear kind. Inwardly, he was a bit annoyed with how long Lily had taken in the shower.

Lily was humming pleasantly and folding some of her clothes as, grudgingly, the other three boys rose.

"AH, a girl is in our dormitory!" Frank screamed with eyes surprisingly wide for early morning.

"She was here when we went to sleep last night. I know you're not used to such horror early in the morning, Frank, but she's a girl here to stay," Peter said sadly.

"She's not a girl, she's Lily Evil Evans," Sirius said, stretching from his bed, and throwing Lily a narrow-eyed glare.

"Good morning, boys," Lily said, smiling. She glanced over her shoulder and looked specifically at Sirius. "No need for hostility, Sirius. I come in peace!"

"You killed James!"

"I didn't kill him---he's in the common room on the sofa!"

"That's as good as killing him!"

Lily turned around completely and stared at him in confusion, still smiling only out of puzzlement. She placed her clothes neatly into her trunk and then closed it. Standing up straight with her hands on her hips, she smiled even wider and said, "Well, are we all going to clean this place up soon? I mean, it's atrocious."

"It's a man's dormitory that's what it is," Peter piped up, rubbing his eyes.

"It's no longer a man's dormitory," Lily corrected brightly, smiling so that a good deal of her pearly whites showed. "Remember, you now have a female dormmate, and it's only fair and hygienic that we give this place a once over, cleaning-wise."

Sirius, Peter and Frank all looked at each other, aghast and horrified. Not one of the three seemed able to form a good argument against Lily's proposal, and so Sirius shifted to face Remus' direction, even from across the dormitory.

"Moony, tell her why that's not a good idea," Sirius said hopefully.

Remus looked startled to be asked for his opinion. He stood fully, his fresh set of clothes for the day swathed over one arm. "Err, well … I actually agree with Lily … a bit …"

Sirius, Peter and Frank all made sounds of disgust and repulsion while Lily beamed and stood on the tips of her toes.

"Thank you, Remus! I knew there had to be one other logical life form in this dormitory. I'm glad it didn't end up being Peter's toad," Lily said. She turned to look at the other three, as if subconsciously her hands shot right back to her hips, this time in a sterner manner. "So boys, time to clean up! I think I see some underwear behind your bed, Peter; it looks moldy. And Sirius, is that an empty plate from the kitchen under yours?"

Sirius had it. He set his jaw tightly with tension, folded his arms stubbornly, and glared at Lily Evil Evans defiantly. Peter and Frank clumsily followed his lead, also folding their arms and glaring in her direction.

"Evans, make me! I refuse to listen to you---you're just a peer and I don't have to answer to your every whim, you know! You are not the boss of this dormitory or of anyone residing in it, so I suggest you go to hell!"

"Wow!" Peter gasped, both shocked and amazed.

"Yeah!" Frank cheered.

Remus remained silent, looking between Lily and Sirius.

Lily's arms were also crossed and a smirk was playing on her lips. She didn't seem intimidated in the slightest.

"You don't want to?" she asked slowly, sounding amused.

"Hells yes we don't! And you can't make us, Evans, that's the beauty of the whole thing!" Sirius exclaimed confidently. "Sorry, but it's our dormitory, not yours. _We_ run the show around here."

Sirius jabbed his thumb into his chest, issuing to himself, and Peter and Frank fervently nodded in agreement. Still, Lily only continued to stand there with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face.

& & & & &

Six owls swooped into the Gryffindor common room and flocked together in unison straight for the sofa where James Potter slept, or more, tried to sleep. He lay rather awkwardly on the sofa, the blanket he had much too small for him, a good amount of leg and feet popping out past its end. His head was smudged between two pillows, a pillow and head sandwich; it was his attempt of ignoring all of the sound effects of the common room. He had never realized how noisy the room was, even during night. The large grandfather clock chimed loudly and echoingly every hour and even from inside, in the otherwise silence of the night, the snores of the Fat Lady could be heard. On top of that, the crackling fire only irritated James. It had not been a good first night.

The six owls all dropped the red envelopes in their beaks and then hurried out together, through the same window they had come. The red envelopes floated in midair and opened themselves, turning into mouths and soon in quite an explosion, the Howlers were all laughing and screaming taunts at James Potter.

He was so surprised he jumped and fell right off the sofa, onto the floor. The six Howlers continued to laugh at him all together and in sync, creating quite the humiliating situation. Passing students heading down to the Great Hall snickered and pointed at him. There he was, the great and mighty James Potter, lying flat on his stomach on the common room floor, pillow over his head, his hands squeezing it into his ears.

The Howlers' laughter didn't stop for quite some time. Lily had exited the dormitory and paused momentarily on passing him on the floor, only to smirk and then leave. Shortly after that, Sirius, Frank and Peter exited the dormitory together and stopped right before James on the floor.

"Mate, mate, get up," Sirius said, kicking James.

At first James didn't move. He remained lying there, pillows held to his head, and Sirius kicked him a good few more times.

"Okay, okay … no need to kick me," James said, sitting up on his knees. He rubbed his matted hair. "What d'ya want?" he mumbled, looking miserable.

"Prongs, Evans must be stopped!" Sirius squeaked in a voice quite unlike his own.

From behind him, Peter and Frank nodded vigorously.

James squinted up at Sirius and then at Peter and Frank from where he sat on the floor.

"What d'ya mean?" he mumbled again.

"She _made_ us clean the dormitory!" Sirius shouted in outrage; Peter and Frank continued to nod.

"Made you?"

"Made us! The wench made us, James. She's like some sort of unstoppable force … that's unstoppable!" Sirius yelped in distress.

"No kidding," James mumbled bitterly.

"She even made Peter wash his underpants, James," Sirius said. He put an arm around Peter's shoulders, pulling him forward and closer. "He's still traumatized!"

"And she's made me alphabetize my medication!" Frank chimed in. "My Healer doesn't even care!"

"Worst of all, Prongs," Sirius said dramatically, "she's made the dormitory smell good!"

James looked up at the three in confusion, his eyebrows curving in bewilderment.

"Princess Peach, Potter," Frank said in horror. "The dormitory reeks of the stuff. Damn air freshener."

"Listen," James said, finally rising to a stand, "I'd love to help you gits, but … look at me. Look at what I've become!" He gestured around wildly to his small blanket and then his matted hair and wrinkled clothing. "I'm a laughing stock, guys. I'm pathetic."

Sirius exchanged looks with the other two.

"No … mate … you're … not …" Sirius said hesitantly.

"If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to wallow a bit more. Night." James got back onto the sofa and then covered himself with the small blanket, failing to cover most of him with the tiny thing.

Sirius and the other two looked at one another again, wondering if maybe it was all over. Maybe Evans was just going to win after all.

& & & & &

"How'd you sleep?" Elyse asked as she came over to the Gryffindor table and sat for a bit.

Lily shrugged, but the big, toothless smile on her face said paragraphs.

"I'm guessing you've been kicking arse up in Gryffindor tower, then," Elyse concluded.

Lily shrugged again, but still the big and toothless smile remained.

"I have to admit I'm as giddy as a girl about you breaking Potter's spirits. 'Grats!"

For a third time, Lily shrugged and continued to smile. She took a small sip of orange juice and buttered her muffin.

"What exactly is your plan of doom, anyhow? Are you trying to drive the prats mad? Going in for the kill? Trying to plain piss everyone off? All of it packed into one? Can I add in some suggestions of how to make their lives even more of a sopping mess? Please? Oh, c'mon! I have no joy in life but to make others miserable, Lily!" Elyse said keenly, looking the perkiest Lily had ever seen her to be.

After swallowing a good bite of her muffin, Lily shrugged. "No plan, Elyse, none whatsoever."

"Lies!" Elyse accused, pointing an accusatory finger.

"Elyse," Lily said evenly, looking innocent, "I have no goal to make anyone miserable. I'm being good."

With narrowed eyes, Elyse stood up. "All right, if that's how you want it to be---I'm onto you! I can smell when misery is looming five miles away, and you've got a bag of it to unload on those idiots! I thought this could be a team effort, Lily, but I guess I was wrong."

Lily shrugged and then took a bite of her muffin.

"All right, then I'll return to my little Ravenclaw table, from which I will fling bits of sausage at Beth Brown's Quaffle head. TA-TA!" Elyse said, turning and stomping off. Seconds later, she really could be seen flinging bits and pieces of sausage at Beth Brown.

Once Lily finished her breakfast, she rose and started to leave the Great Hall. As she left, James, Sirius, Peter, and Frank all entered. She smiled politely at the four of them, but they all shot daggers at her.

"See you boys later," she said simply, smiling.

Sirius scowled.

& & & & &

From the Great Hall, Lily headed down to the kitchens just near Hufflepuff to spend some time with the House Elves. She normally did on a regular basis and had since been paying them visits from mid-fourth year and on. She found that she liked to cook and helping them cook while chatting a bit was a good past time on some days.

"Greetings Lily Evans!" said one girl House Elf by the name of Isa. She had stiff and thin blonde hair that was combed into pigtails, all of which stuck out at odd ends.

"Good morning, Isa," Lily said, smiling. "Having fun making breakfast?"

"Isa is having much fun, miss!" Isa said, beaming greatly. With her little green hand, she grabbed hold of one of Lily's and led the way deeper into the kitchens. "Urky is missing Lily Evans," Isa informed. "Urky is saying cooking no fun without Lily Evans!"

Lily allowed the small and petite House Elf to lead the way, and she couldn't help noticing, as always, that the kitchen looked just as spotless and sparkling as it always did. The wood on the cabinets was always well-polished and the counters were never sticky, and the floor always shined bright. All of the kitchen utensils were put away in proper place and the appliances were all stark clean seconds after being used. On this particular morning the whole kitchen smelled of pumpkin pie. Lily couldn't help but note how delicious the aroma was, and how, even after just eating breakfast, the smell made her hungry again.

"There is Urky, miss!" Isa pointed out, stopping and letting go of her hand. "There's he is! Urky, stop it, stop it! Miss is here!"

Urky, a short and stout House Elf that looked quite young but overfed, stopped in the midst of placing an unbaked pumpkin pie into one of the gigantic ovens. He dropped the tray and jumped in excitement.

"Urky is happy Lily Evans is here!" he cried happily. "Urky thinks kitchen is not the same without you, miss!"

"Isa is always catching Urky baking pies when not necessary, miss!"

Lily chuckled lightly. "I'm sure it's not too big of a deal, Isa." She turned to look at Urky. "But remember, Urky, I can't visit everyday. I have exams coming up and plenty of homework. I miss you too, but please be patient in between my visits."

"Urky likes pumpkin pie!" Urky said, gobbling down half of the pie in his hands. His mouth was covered in pumpkin.

"Urky is not knowing that Urky will get into trouble by Headmaster with all these pies!" Isa insisted.

"Urky is eating them," he said.

"Can I have one of them?" Lily asked suddenly.

In an instant, Lily found herself completely surrounded by seven pairs of little hands holding up freshly baked pumpkin pies. Not only Isa and Urky had rushed to give her a pumpkin pie, but five of the other elves had also. Lily smiled at them and released a small laugh.

"I suppose to be fair, I should take that unattended one on the counter over there," Lily said, walking over to that one and taking it into her hands.

"Mister Aden Grey is paying us visits too, Miss!" Isa said, still holding the pie in her hands.

"Oh, is he?" Lily asked, sounding only semi-interested. Her right eyebrow arched and her cheeks warmed.

Isa and the rest nodded zealously.

"Well, that's good," Lily said mildly. "We both like spending time in the kitchen."

"Us house elves is liking you spending time in the kitchen!" piped up a house elf by the name of Hairy. He was particularly hairy, hence his name. He had one long, continuous eyebrow and a head thick in dark brown hair. His scrawny little house elf arms were also covered in an unnatural amount of hair.

"Isa is wondering what the pie is for, miss," Isa asked curiously.

"For some friends," Lily replied vaguely, shrugging. She smiled.

& & & & &

"Wow, pie!" Peter exclaimed, licking his lips and eyeing the pie.

"Pumpkin, the best kind!" Frank said, hurrying over.

"I could go for a slice of pumpkin pie," Remus admitted, setting aside his book and rising from his dormitory bed.

Lily beamed. "I thought I'd snag one for you lot. It's sort of a peace gift, you know?"

Peter had flourished his wand and used it to magically cut slices of it from the little pan. He rushed over to his trunk and then retrieved the plate and fork he kept there, only to hurry back to Lily and take a slice. He happened to have more plates and forks in his trunk, enough for Remus and Frank and even Lily.

"Merlin, Wormtail, do you have a stove in there too?" Remus asked teasingly.

Peter blushed. "No," he said guiltily.

Lily set down her own plate of pie and picked up the pan of it, where one single slice remained. She stood facing the direction of Sirius' bed, and she wore an innocent smile.

"Sirius, I brought the pie for you too," she said calmly.

"Pfft," Sirius said from his bed, arms folded and a pout on his face.

"It's pumpkin," Lily reminded.

"I'm fully aware of what kind of pie it is, thank you," Sirius snapped.

"It's still pretty warm too," Lily advertised.

"Yeah, that's pretty groovy …"

"Better snatch it up before Peter swoops in for a second helping."

"Not too concerned 'bout it, to be frank."

"I went through a lot of trouble, Sirius," Lily said, still complacently.

"Yeah, rotten for you, then."

Lily sighed. "Okay then, I'll leave it here. If you change your mind, you can still have it. I think I'll take my slice and go eat it elsewhere. I know you'd rather have me gone."

"Sure would."

Lily took her plate of pumpkin pie and then left the dormitory without another word. Seconds of silence and pumpkin pie eating passed before Sirius leapt off of his bed and rushed to the last remaining slice of pumpkin pie. He grabbed the fork right out of Peter's hands and ate the slice up in a few bites.

"Hey! My fork," Peter said. He brandished another from within his sleeve. "You're lucky I'm as equip as a cutlery shop, Padfoot!"

Sirius wiped his mouth with his arm and dropped the empty pan. The small crumbs from inside rolled out and onto the floor. Peter and Frank darted downward, in competition for them. Sirius, however, stood stock still, realizing what he had just done.

"I ate the pie," he said slowly, in terror. "I caved in! I did exactly what she wanted me to!"

Remus looked amused as he neatly finished up his own slice. "That you did, my friend."

"She thinks she's clever---she thinks she'll win us over!"

"Perhaps …" Remus trailed off.

"She won't," Sirius said firmly.

"We'll see," Remus muttered.

"No, Moony, she won't!" Sirius turned to look at Peter and Frank as they wrestled on the floor for the crumbs. "Hey you two dim-snots! Stop wrestling like savages and realize you've been duped!"

It took a second for Peter and Frank to disentangle themselves from one another. They both ended up on their bottoms, staring up confused at Sirius.

"Duped?" Peter said.

"Yes, duped! You've been tricked, don't you see? She's trying to win you lot over and it's working---don't let her! Don't give in to the evilness; eat pride, not pie!"

"Pride, not pie," repeated Peter and Frank slowly.

Sirius jumped onto Frank's bed and held his fist tight in the air. "Eat pride, not pie! C'mon, repeat it with me!"

The two boys on the floor did such, soon growing louder.

"Evans thinks she can waltz into our dormitory and take over? Hell no! We're wizards and wizards can't be tricked so easily, my friends---oh no, we're too smart for that!" Sirius preached brazenly. "Next time she approaches with any kind of sweets, let us not forget of the times she wakes us up hours too early, or makes us wash our underwear, or makes the windows see-through and clear instead of gray and murky! Let us not forget of the treachery the Evans Monster causes us poor invaded upon blokes, oh no! OH HELL NO!"

"Yeah!" cheered Peter and Frank heartily, even clapping.

Remus shook his head from side to side. He remained quiet.

"And most importantly, let us not forget what she's done to James," Sirius said, looking choked up just thinking about it. "He's not the same Potter we've come to know and love---he can't even make fun of Snivellus properly anymore and that's just sad. Evans did that to him, she's a travesty and she must go!"

Peter and Frank applauded proudly as Sirius bowed and then jumped off of Frank's bed. He walked over to Remus and asked breathlessly, "what do you have to say about this, Moony?"

Remus sighed and replied, "Well, Sirius, I can't stop you or Frank or Peter from banning against Lily, but I do want you to remember all of the good that has come out of her staying here; for example, the room being free of dirty and random clothing tossed about, the ridding of that hideous and living creature underneath Peter's bed, and the fact that the whole dormitory no longer smells worse than Snape's hair."

Sirius didn't say anything. He glanced over at Peter and Frank, but neither had anything to retort with. Rather, Sirius settled for looking annoyed and displeased with his werewolf friend.

"Thanks for the support, Remus," he said sensitively.

"You're welcome. Now if you excuse me, this chap has a date with the library," Remus said. He grabbed the book on his bed and with a few steps he was out of the door.

Sirius waited until he was gone, before mumbling, "I still hate her."

Peter and Frank nodded.

& & & & &

Days went by and James was finding it harder and harder to show his face around the castle. Wherever he went his loss to Evans was thrown and rubbed in his face. Everyone from the Slytherins to the Hufflepuffs was laughing at him. Even the Ravenclaws, who were usually very mature, had taken to making jokes about him and how pathetic he now was. What hurt most was that even his own Gryffindors thought of him as a laughing stock. His embarrassment and shame grew so intense that he barely even desired to be Quidditch Captain anymore; he had skipped a few practices and in the meantime Faye Beesly and Perry Belkin seemed to have formed a tighter bond. He didn't care; he slept on a sofa; his Hogwarts status was over.

Evans had no mercy on him. She didn't tease or ridicule him, of course. Much worse, she was incredibly kind and smiley toward him, which only made his wounded ego deflate that much more. He would have rather her pester him about losing than her smiling and silently being victorious. It took all of his restraint and worth of his word not to go to McGonagall or any other staff member about getting his bed back. He had made the deal, though, and so he reminded himself he had to pay the consequences.

"Pathetic," Snape said coldly on passing him in the courtyard.

James couldn't even muster enough energy to insult or jinx him in return. Instead, Sirius and Peter rushed forward with wands drawn and defensive faces.

"Do we need to hex you a new attitude, Snivellus?" Sirius asked.

"Or rather, maybe you should jinx Potter a new ego," Snape countered in his droning voice.

"Insult James again and I'll magic a toe off, Snivellus!" Sirius threatened.

James only exhaled a miserable breath, feeling ashamed of himself. These days he couldn't even defend himself and so Sirius and Peter had taken to overly defending him, as if he were some fragile statue about to break. It only made him more embarrassed.

"Black, put away your wand, it isn't threatening in the slightest," Snape said shortly. He turned and walked off without another word, seemingly uncaring of turning his back to the three.

Sirius indeed pocketed his wand, looking huffy. "Who does that bastard think he is?" he growled. "Saying that to you, Prongs, what a hook-nosed arse. I should have jinxed a toe or two off just to make him squirm and cry. We need to get him back brilliantly one of these days."

James shrugged indifferently, face sagging with depression, as he ambled off across the grass back into the castle.

Sirius and Peter stood where they were and watched him go. It was a sad scene to see.

& & & & &

**Aww, poor James! LOL. Well, end of the chapter. This is where I leave you for now, until the next update. It'll be soon, as usual. So thank you to everyone who is reviewing! Now review some more with your thoughts! And have a super nice day, fellow Lily/James fans:)**


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